Dear Men,
As I write this open letter, I understand there may be a bit of envy regarding the attention Women’s Day receives compared to your own day, which often seems confined to social media memes. But let me tell you, it’s not about the grandeur of celebration, but rather the essence it holds. As in reality, it’s a day where people choose to honour us without truly understanding us.
You see, Women’s Day isn’t just about shedding light on our achievements; it’s about delving into the complexities of our experiences. Periods, for instance, aren’t just about shedding blood; they’re about embracing pain, mood swings, and the unspoken challenges we’re expected to endure silently. Even in understanding circles, some men find it hard to grasp. But seriously, if it’s tough to imagine, ‘imagine’ going through it! So, when you claim to celebrate women on Women’s Day, do you truly understand our journey?
Think about it: if boys who grow into ‘men’ can’t grasp the purpose of a sanitary pad, does their ‘Happy Women’s Day’ message hold any weight? I doubt it.
Consider this analogy – you might know that baking a cake is a difficult process, but do you truly grasp the intricacies involved? It begins with precise measurements and sifting of dry ingredients, followed by the creaming of butter and sugar until a fluffy consistency is achieved. Gradually, eggs are incorporated, one by one, ensuring a harmonious blend. The delicate dance continues with alternating additions of dry ingredients and liquids, preserving the batter’s texture. Then, the culmination—a patient wait as the oven works its magic, yielding a delectable masterpiece.
Just as understanding the intricacies of baking enriches your ‘appreciation’ for the cake and brings out the ‘wow’ factor, delving into our diverse realities enriches enriches your celebration of Women’s Day.
For a moment, reflect on the insensitive remarks we sometimes hear, like the one from a blockbuster movie implying, “Tu mahine me 4 pad badalke itna naatak karti hai, me din me 50 kar raha hu (You create drama changing four pads a month; I am changing fifty in a day).” It’s time for a reality check. Did they know we change four pads a day, not a month? Understanding is key.
But there’s more to the story.
Consider pregnancy—nine months of trials and tribulations, far from a breeze.
You understand carrying a baby is painful, but do you truly comprehend the ordeal? And childbirth, oh yes, it’s akin to enduring broken bones and then some. This has been dissected, I know, and perhaps you don’t want to hear it.
But swear to understand the plight of a mother-to-be until you heard it candidly from, say, Kareena Kapoor in ‘Good Newwz’. You can’t! The fatigue, nausea, vomiting, tender breasts, itchiness, flaking, swollen ankles, feet, fingers, depression, anxiety, constipation, vaginal discharge, no pee control, inability to take medicines for the common cold, cough—the list goes on. This is what we need you to comprehend, gentlemen.
And postpartum? For those assuming childbirth concludes all agony, it’s time for a reality check! Your child’s mother won’t resemble your wife. She’ll carry that ‘mommy pooch’ that seems to linger, battle with persistent rashes and stretch marks, endure hair loss like never before, and struggle with fatigue all day long. The simple acts of peeing or pooping will become arduous tasks in the initial days post-delivery. Sleep will become a luxury, schedules will vanish, and her baby’s needs will take precedence over everything, including you!
It’s a process, a phase that you need to understand.
Sure, society often paints postpartum as a ‘beautiful’ phase, but the truth lies deeper. It’s like nurturing a delicate flower, understanding its needs, and tending to them diligently, rather than heedlessly plucking it for temporary possession, only for it to wither away in neglect.
The essence lies not in merely calling a woman beautiful, but in actively making her feel beautiful by recognising her experiences and standing by her side through every challenge she faces. If men can grasp this concept, then every day will become a celebration of Women’s Day, honouring and uplifting women in every aspect of their lives.
After all, these issues are just the tip of the iceberg. There’s a whole conversation waiting to be had in public to understand that all women are perfect; it’s just the ‘imperfect’ perceptions that need to be addressed to make the world a more accepting place and the days worth celebrating.
The Road Ahead
With social media, conversations about anything and everything have become effortless, disregarding the societal norms that once restrained us, granting women the ‘real’ sense of ‘freedom.’
Come digital creators who dare to defy the conventional norms of perfect body shapes and flawless skin. Instead, they boldly normalise the authenticity of real bodies. Take, for instance, the inspiring Tarini Peshwaria or the courageous Tanya Agarwal—new mothers who champion a positive message of embracing postpartum bodies in all their glory. Their voices echo what women have longed to hear: acceptance.
And then there’s Shark Tank’s Namita Thapar, educating the nation about perimenopause on national television!
This is the change women everywhere are striving for—to greet each other on ‘Happy Women’s Day’ feeling ‘genuinely’ empowered and accepted.
Yes, the wheels of change are turning, and I hope for a day when black polythene bags for sanitary pads are a thing of the past, and artificial creams for erasing stretch marks become obsolete. A day when we can simply be ourselves, not society’s expectations.
Regards,
A woman